Recognize Your Value

Is there a limiting belief in your head? Is it impacting your life and confidence? When you begin to believe the negative and limiting thoughts about yourself, you give in to your Inner Critic. We all have one – some days it is little – some days it is overwhelming. Sometimes we buy into the illusion of our own insignificance. We shut ourselves down, lose our voice, lose our opinion, lose ourselves to another, or to society. Our culture is not an affirming, warm and fuzzy place. There are so many avenues where we compare and make ourselves small or “less than.” Large complex corporations and attitudes, celebrity fame and power, material gain. Do we take the time to consider that we matter? 

Think of the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” where George Bailey (no relation), with the help of his angel, Clarence, sees what life would be like if he had not been born. The awakening for George at the end of the movie was precious. Just like you are, precious. Our very existence impacts countless people in a complex web of ways. We are a small bit of a larger experiment. The universe could not exist without us – we have a part. 

You may have felt devalued at some point in your life. Not seen, not heard, not safe or cared for. You learned how to navigate that world and created your toolbox of highly developed skills to be a precious part of this world. This one limiting belief about yourself can impact your life. When you shift your perceptions around your own value and ability to affect your life, things change. You may discover parts of yourself that have been long lost parts. Warm parts, happy parts, friendly parts, curious parts, inventive parts. You matter – your life matters – be your own Clarence and reconnect with yourself. You are precious and valued. 

“You are perfectly imperfect!” Pia Mellody

Self-Expression with Writing

Self-Expression Through Writing – AKA “Keeping a Diary”

How many of us remember “keeping a diary” when we were young? How many of us continue this practice, although we may call it something different now? Maybe we call it “diary”, “journal”, “expressive writing”, “chronicle”, “log”, “blog”, or “vlog.” However we identify the resource of keeping record or taking note of our internal thoughts, this process can be helpful. A diary can play many roles. We can use the diary for self-expression, keeping confidences, exploring options, recording our dreams or desires. It can be a tool to help us cope with difficult times. Help to keep us on track. Provide comfort, challenge doubts. A diary can help us see details in situations, thoughts, or events. It can record our passion, confidence, and bravery. A diary can be a sacred space to hold our grief. 

Diaries are personalized and individualized in their context, content, and character. We can create diaries for events, goals, projects, visions, or other connections where we want to record our declarations. We can use sketching, color, texture, code, with our words to expand our expression. An “affirmation diary” can help us with self-encouragement. A “gratitude diary” can help us to gain a more positive outlook on our life. There are no limits to how the “diary” can help us connect with ourselves. 

Reading through our diaries from time to time can help us reflect and see changes that occur in our lifespan. Some folks may have been prolific writers and note makers in their diaries over the years and can see the record of their life’s journey. Some even turn them into books, movies, or plays! The handwritten diary has taken electronic form in recent years. The blog or vlog have taken up where some “old fashioned” diaries have been cast aside. Regardless of your method, keeping a diary may be the self-expression and connection you need. So grab your favorite writing instrument or keyboard and …..Write on!

Easing Into Change

Easing Into Change

Change does not need to be difficult, especially when the change is anticipated. Of course, there are those moments of unexpected change that show up and can take our breath away. If we begin to practice easing into the anticipated changes, it will help us develop the flexibility (or resiliency) to catch our breath when the unexpected changes pop up. A few things that can be classified as “anticipated change” are; moving, returning to in-person work or school, marital status, becoming a new parent, for example. 

Here are some tips to help make change more manageable.

1.    You don’t have to do it alone. Talk about what is going on with a trusted friend, keep a journal, share your feelings. Identifying and sharing can provide you with a sense of relief.

2.    Break down “large chunks” into smaller steps. Creating incremental change can feel more manageable and moderate than taking the “get it done” approach. 

3.    When trying to start a new habit or routine, link it to an established ritual. For example, if you want to begin a meditation practice, link it to your evening bed-time “turn down” routine.

4.    “Go with the flow” vs. “what we resist will persist”. Flexibility and adaptability will takes the bumps out of that frantic ride. And remember to  breathe.

5.    When change is unexpected or a big stressor, look at the blessing or lesson that the stressor provides. Every event is an opportunity for learning and growing.

6.    Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time and space to adjust. If you can pre-plan and have breathing room to let yourself adapt, the big change can feel less extreme.

7.    Recognize that if you are making big changes, sometimes big feelings will come with them. Honor and acknowledge your feelings. Ride the wave of the emotion. The emotions are letting you know that you are being a part of the change! Celebrate the journey!

 “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” Jim Rohn

Easing into change

Start With A Breath...

We head into a transition after such 2020 turmoil and our daily life goes on regardless of the external factions. Snow falls, babies are born, loved ones die, relationships are formed and challenged. Change happens. We can count on it. How do we navigate these transitions? How do we work WITH the waves vs resistance TO the waves? We ‘start with a breath’ ….. Breathe, feel our feet under us, notice our presence in our space in the moment. It all ‘starts with a breath’. Remember to B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

With warm regards…Dr Nancy

Exploring Spiritual Practice- Go Easy...

Exploring a Spiritual Practice? Go Easy on Yourself…

We have been impacted by the uncertainties of 2020 and may have engaged in the exploration of a way to connect or reconnect. We need to try not to put unrealistic demands on ourselves. Maybe we are investing our focus on a new spiritual path, or reinvesting in an abandoned supportive practice, just know that expectations of perfection on this journey does not promote “inner peace.” We can hold ourselves to unreasonable expectations. We can place demands to “read everything about it”, “do it right,” or “seek the ultimate serenity.” Does this fit with the quest? How often have we booked ourselves for a retreat, had a relaxing yoga session, or engaged in an amazing soulful experience listening to music and a few hours later are unable to retain that inner sense of connection? Stressful situations enter and create a disturbance in the flow. Guess what? Life happens! Long lines, traffic jams, overwhelmed partners, unexpected and unwanted changes. These are all part of the flow of our lives. The good news is that if we are exploring or reconnecting with a spiritual practice, it can help us enhance our equilibrium and support us in getting back to our center. We may experience feelings of guilt or anger that we have not stayed true to our spiritual path. We have not “done it perfectly.”  Let us be patient and compassionate with ourselves. Afterall, isn’t that part of the spiritual journey? Remember, it’s ‘progress not perfection’. 

Just because we are following a spiritual path, attaining inner peace, or living a specific ideology and does not mean we are perfect.  It means we are human. When we approach our journey mindfully, we can experience the intense waves of emotions such as anger without feeling that we have come up short.  Simply by being aware of the experience and recognizing that our feelings are temporary, we begin to take the necessary steps to return to our center. Accepting that difficult situations will arise and treating our reactions to them as if they are passing events rather than a total sum of who we are can help us move through them. Practicing this form of acceptance and paying attention to ourselves in order to learn will make it easier to return to a mindful center more quickly. This is a practice not an event.

All person’s experiences are not the same. There may be similarities, and our history will impact our behavior and responses. We can learn and we can unlearn responses and reactions. Being on a spiritual journey will help with both the learning and unlearning. At the onset, even if we are able to do nothing more than acknowledge what we are feeling and that there is little to be done to affect the current circumstances, in time, we can alter our reaction to such circumstances. We can learn gradually to let negative thoughts come into our mind, recognize them, and let them go. We may never reach a place of perfect peace, but we can find serenity in having done our best. Go gently and be kind to our imperfections. 

Joining Group Practice for Counseling Services - Scheduling New Clients

Thank you so much for your patience while I worked on getting my practice set up here in PA. I have joined the group practice at Center for Psychological Health & Wellness in Shillington, PA with Dr. Heidi Ramsbottom. 

I will be scheduling clients beginning Monday, July 16th only accepting private pay clients at this time. 

I will be utilizing Post Induction Therapy (PIT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), and other experiential modalities. My specialties include: relational trauma recovery, substance use disorder, addiction(s) recovery, and codependency. 

To schedule an appointment, please contact: https://www.drheidiramsbottompsychology.com/schedule-an-appointment.html  Or Call: 484-509-0499

Thank you! I look forward to working with you! 

2018 - New Year & New Changes at Desert Moon

Happy Holidays and Happy Changes at Desert Moon Consulting for 2018

In October of 2017 we were blessed with the arrival of our first grandchild – Welcome Penelope! Her arrival prompted thoughtful consideration to life goals. I have made the decision to retire from direct patient care in my private practice location in Agoura Hills, CA effective 12/20/17.

Desert Moon Consulting, LLC remains active and will continue to provide consulting services from our new location in Shillington, Pennsylvania beginning January 2018. 

I will also continue to serve the field in a teaching capacity in graduate and doctoral programs to help encourage a new generation of counselors to provide professional, ethical, and compassionate care. You will still see me at conferences and training venues. I will be maintaining professional affiliations with some LA based companies.

As we travel the road of “happy destiny” let us continue to walk with kind and compassionate hearts. 

Onward!

Reflection on Recovery

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I am sitting in great reflection today as I review the past 32 years. Today I celebrate 32 years of recovery from a disease that takes the lives of so many - and has taken the lives of many I've known. I am grateful, quiet, peaceful, and mostly in acceptance. If I wrote a book about my journey - it would not be believable to most. Those of us who are "friends of Bill" would believe it. There have been so many angels placed on my path that I've begun to review and identify them. The list is long and I'm probably not recognizing many. The funny thing about reflection, awareness, and noticing is that each day - no - each moment - is different. Perception and reality are so interesting! Anyway - I'm going to quote from a book that I believe should be required reading for every human. It was written by a woman I met in my program and who through all of her life suffering, never, never complained. She shared hope. She passed a few years back - but her books live on, as does her spirit in many of us who were blessed to know her.

"When we are able to live in acceptance of those things we can't change, we will know a new freedom, and we will find others are drawn to us in a different way. Because they don't feel judged, because we never expect any more of them than they want to give, to be, there will be a level of comfort and open sharing we've never before experienced. 

I'm trying to become as smart as my dogs, who accept me at my best and my worst, who don't care how I look, how I live my life. They expect nothing of me more than I want to give and are happy to be a part of my life. Ah, that we could all be that accepting." 

     twenty-five words; how the serenity prayer can save your life - Barb Rogers (2005).

Thank you to all who have been on this journey with me and for all who I will meet down the road.  I pray for peace and compassion in our world. 

Boredom – Is it boredom, or it is serenity?

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Webster’s Dictionary defines boredom as “to weary by dullness, tedious repetition”, or “dull, tiresome.” Teenagers scream, “I’m soooooo BORED!”

Is boredom really boredom? Is boredom our body’s way to signal us to focus inward or to power down? Our world is so busy, constantly engaged, and – dare I say – overstimulated?

Boredom is not depression or apathy. Lack of stimulation, craving relief. What are the consequences of boredom? There is an urge and intense attraction to change our “bored” self. Stimulate the senses – keep busy – engaged – distracted from ourselves and our world. Electronic devices, smoking, drinking, video games, shopping, busy, busy, busy….distraction from the silence and solitude.

Maybe boredom is not a problem – just maybe – boredom is a solution…..

Lean into boredom and you may discover yourself and the world within and around you. Observe your boredom. Observe your surroundings. Observe your breath. Sound like meditation? Meditate into serenity and in the process allow your body to heal. Allow your nervous system to settle down – allow your brain and body to calm.

So I ask again – is it boredom, or is it serenity?

Welcome Back to Desert Moon!

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Welcome Back to Desert Moon Consulting, LLC! Well – we’ve had quite a ride! New website, new location, new focus! Taking the leap of faith and entering into the world of total self-employment! Thank you to everyone who has been on this ride with me over the past few months – I appreciate your support! It’s a very exciting time for me and Desert Moon!

After 25 years of working in the treatment industry, I’m stepping out on my own! Desert Moon Consulting LLC is open for business! The focus of my work is:

·      business/management consulting in the substance & behavioral health care industry

·      coaching/counseling in the areas of personal growth and healing

·      staff training and development

·      writing

My husband, 4-legged family, and I moved from the beautiful desert of Arizona to the magnificent coast of southern California. We are all loving our lives at our ranch in SoCal!

Desert Moon Consulting has two business locations; the serene main office suite in Agoura Hills and the beautiful healing equine location of Desert Moon Ranch in Camarillo.

Welcome home to Desert Moon and let us help you “Find Your Way”

Back on Track

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Desert Moon is “back on track” after taking a break.  Had some life changes, which for all of us can be an opportunity for new adventures. Please check back soon for some upgrades and announcements of changes….

Thanks for your patience.

Mindful presence just for today.....

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While sitting in quiet meditation, opening my eyes to the view across the Desert Moon landscape, what a beautiful sight. I was thinking to myself “look what happens when our eyes are closed – even in mindful meditation.” This started me thinking more about ‘look what happens when our minds are closed due to many things – over-stressed schedules, avoidance of situations, denial of issues, extreme focus on one thing’ – how do we miss the presence of what is right in front of us? How do I close myself off from (fill in the blank)? Today I will practice a more mindful presence to my daily interactions and surroundings. What will you do for yourself today?

Is it "stuck" or "paused"?

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Feeling stuck? Feeling like you’ve reached a plateau? Whether it’s in regard to a personal goal – like completing a project, losing weight, commitment to an exercise plan, finishing a report, writing a book, planting a garden, or something of the sort – we can get stuck. So what’s wrong with getting stuck? I guess it’s in the perception…..am I stuck? Or is it a natural pause in the process? Is it ok to have a natural pause? What if it’s truly stuck? How do we get unstuck? How do we welcome the pause? Anyone have thoughts or experiences they’d like to share about feeling stuck or “paused”?

Positive Attitude

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As we work behind the scenes to develop this webpage, we are becoming aware of our own challenges and frustrations with “a new land”. The team that we are putting together has many gifts – however – we are really trying to keep a positive attitude with electronic learning – otherwise known as website development world! This reminds me of how recovery is about change, growth, and development! We may be many years in the process of recovery – and life does what it does – provides us with ongoing challenges and opportunities to practice positive reframing! Thank you Higher Power for the opportunity for growth!

Welcome to Desert Moon

After working in the field of trauma, addiction, and mental health treatment for the past 20 years, I’ve come to recognize so many avenues to help people heal. Whether that healing is from a place of crisis, or from a place of long term recovery – healing is healing! I have started this website to provide a place for individuals, couples, families, groups, and systems to have a place to visit and, perhaps, find a tool for healing and personal growth. This website is definitely a “work in process” as my learning curve in website development is a large one! So I will post my first official blog post as a “Welcome to Desert Moon” and please stand by while I learn how to build the site!  I am “finding my way” in the web building world……